The real update: "embrace your inner bitch"

I had my lunch with the potential mentor.

The highlight is that I got a lot of "do what I say not as I do to the extent that you can." Ok so on one hand it was useful -- sanity check wise, I know what ideally I should do. On the other hand -- I didn't get much on the shared experience how does one balance priorities in the non ideal situation.

Short term plan -- spend every weekday on the project that currently funds me.
Weekends I will split between the project that pays me and for conference and resubmitting the two papers I had already submitted with a nice letter- of the form "Dear Editor, This paper has gone through the process before, and here are the changes requested. I realize that this is way after the deadline I was given; however, the delay was due to serious health problems outside my control. If this cannot be continued from the previous position in the process, please consider this as a new submission."

I also have a better idea of how to broach the subject of the conference/continuation of this project.

I have a good idea on how to balance the projects given sufficient time. Sufficient time is about 12 months if the above papers have to start the submission process all over, and 9 months if they can pick up mid way through the process. Then I will rank all my side projects based to how long they will take to result in a paper. Then I will make a schedule assuming only weekend work on them, and send the schedule to all the other collaborators, with a note of "This is realistic schedule. If you don't like it, either offer to hire me or offer to do something that shortens the time to publication for me."

If there is not sufficient time, then I am screwed. I didn't get advice on what to do then. But I think I know what I will do. I will balance this project, which after all has been funding me through my treatment, and what I think would be the contributions that I care about the most. Everyone will get the "This is my schedule. This is what I think is important for me to accomplish (i.e. this is what I want my legacy to be) before I am out of science due to lack of funding. If you don't like it, either offer to hire me or do it yourself, while giving me credit for the work I have done."

In other words, no matter what the time, I have to embrace my inner bitch. At least I won't have to worry that I will be given the recommendation letter full of "she plays well with others" aka the communal qualities that seem to hurt women anyways.